*SPOILERS* Psychoanalysing Love Triangles in Gossip Girl and Lost...

Tuesday 17 January 2012

I am a self-confessed old romantic. In every television programme or film I watch (and I watch A LOT, to the point of having studied Film and TV at Uni!), and every book I read, my main focus, despite trying desperately not to is always the love story. I spent the majority of the last Harry Potter films/books, while of course interested to see Voldemort be defeated by our young hero, waiting for Ron to finally kiss Hermione, and while seven or eight storylines overlap at any one time in my favourite soaps, Home and Away and Neighbours, you can be sure that whatever is keeping my attention is the unresolved feelings between two old friends, or the romantic spark between the girl next door character and the new guy in town. It’s a curse I tell you. So, while catching up on Season 4 of Gossip Girl, once again I’m all caught up in the romance, and couldn’t resist writing a little comparison of a love triangle in Gossip Girl, and one in another of my all-time favourite television shows, Lost. If you haven’t watched either of these shows to the end (well, as up to date as you can get with Gossip Girl), and you ever intend to, then don’t read this – it’s spoiler central!!

Gossip Girl follows a group of eight main characters, Dan, Chuck, Nate, Blair, Serena, Jenny, Vanessa and, to a lesser extent, Eric, with an older audience appealed to through Serena and Eric’s mother, Lily, and Dan and Jenny’s father Rufus (who are, incidentally, another couple I managed to fall head over heels for in Season 1 of the show). And since season one, every single one of them (blood related siblings aside) have at some stage, encountered one another in a romantic way. The only two who actually haven’t even kissed at any point are Serena and Chuck, and since her mother adopted him following the death of his father Bart, who Lily married but left for Rufus (you managing to keep up here?!), it seems that that is a line she won’t cross. Despite going back and forth with Dan, who is her mother’s current husband’s son, but who she got together with before her mother and Rufus got back together…. Yeah, it’s a little on the complicated side. So the idea of true love in Gossip Girl is somewhat blurred, with each of the characters falling in and out of love with each other at the drop of a hat, in amongst many an encounter with people outside the circle of main characters. Somehow, though, I still find myself rooting for some of these couples, so kudos to the writers; how they manage to make me forget in an instant that I was all for Serena and Nate the moment she reconnects with Dan, I have NO idea. The aforementioned old romantic side of me, I suspect, is partly to blame for this. But still, the show has a surprisingly consistent way of drawing me into these relationships, and, from the number of fan forums, YouTube tribute videos and fan fiction pages dedicated to this myriad of couplings, obviously I’m not the only one!

One of the most prominent relationships in Gossip Girl since Season 1 has been Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf. As devious and manipulative as each other, these two seem to attract one another almost magnetically. Initially (scrap that, for the first three seasons!), in spite of the ridiculous number of seriously problematic issues with their relationship, I was a big ‘Chair’ fan. They seemed to understand each other in a way that no-one else really did. They played games, they tortured themselves and each other with their reluctance to ‘lose’ in any aspect of their relationship, but they were madly in love, and that acceptance and understanding of the very darkest sides of each other’s personality was the key to their connection. No matter how bad it got, Blair was constantly drawn back to Chuck, and every time, even though it was quite obviously for the wrong reasons, I got behind the reunion and cheered them on as they decided to give it yet another try.

The fact, however, was that the Chuck and Blair relationship was, and is, an incredibly unhealthy one. The love they have is overwhelming, but toxic, and brings out the worst in both of them. Blair has had to go through trauma after trauma when it comes to their relationship, from Chuck trading her for his hotel – he makes a deal with his Uncle Jack and agrees to have Blair sleep with him (managing to convince her it is her own idea) if Jack agrees to leave New York and never interfere with the Bass Empire again – to sleeping with Jenny Humphrey the moment he suspects that he has finally lost Blair forever. Her heart is broken over and over again, and yet, for whatever reason, she can’t help going back to him.

A few months ago, I was reading an article online about the show and saw some S4 spoilers. I didn’t watch this season when it aired on ITV2 as I was writing my dissertation (part of which was an exploration of family relationships in Gossip Girl) and I didn’t want to overload myself with material since I was focusing on seasons 1-3. When I read that there was a blossoming relationship between Dan and Blair, the supposed love of Serena’s life and her best friend (who incidentally hated each other in the beginning of the show) I scoffed. Finally, a romance I wouldn’t be getting on board with. But alas, now that I have the boxset at home, not only have I watched all 22 episodes in the past week and a half, but I have (shamefully) YouTubed the Blair and Dan scenes from Season 5, out of sheer desperation to see what happens next.

Blair and Dan, on the outside, couldn’t be mocuse the terrible metaphor). He had her on a pedestal, and found himself constantly running to her rescue, regardless of how complicated their relationship was, or how often they broke up. He saw her as someone he could try to save from the often vicious world of the Upper East side, and rather than see the relationship as what it really was – a passionate encounter between two people who loved each other, but in an almost fictional/fairy tale way – he convinced himself that every time they ‘tried again’ this would be it, even using their story as inspiration for his writing. And that meant that every time she ended up with someone else, or let him down, or left him waiting around for her to choose him over some other suitor, his faith in her (and their epic romance) was shattered.

Blair’s electric chemistry with Chuck led her to believe that they were destined for one another. The fact that she fell for Chuck directly after her relationship with her childhood sweetheart Nate fell apart is crucial – she saw herself as a sophisticated socialite with Nate, and fought to keep her inner demons at bay. Her manipulative, scheming side wasn’t something she felt she could share with Nate, but Chuck was different – with him, she could be as twisted as she wanted to be, and it only served to fuel their passion. In the end, s mind; she was a princess and he was the stable boy (excuse the terrible metaphor). He had her on a pedestal, and found himself constantly running to her rescue, regardless of how complicated their relationship was, or how often they broke up. He saw her as someone he could try to save from the often vicious world of the Upper East side, and rather than see the relationship as what it really was – a passionate encounter between two people who loved each other, but in an almost fictional/fairy tale way – he convinced himself that every time they ‘tried again’ this would be it, even using their story as inspiration for his writing. And that meant that every time she ended up with someone else, or let him down, or left him waiting around for her to choose him over some other suitor, his faith in her (and their epic romance) was shattered.

Blair’s electric chemistry with Chuck led her to believe that they were destined for one another. The fact that she fell for Chuck directly after her relationship with her childhood sweetheart Nate fell apart is crucial – she saw herself as a sophisticated socialite with Nate, and fought to keep her inner demons at bay. Her manipulative, scheming side wasn’t something she felt she could share with Nate, but Chuck was different – with him, she could be as twisted as she wanted to be, and it only served to fuel their passion. In the end, the darkness and complicated nature of their relationship, regardless of the very real love they have for one another, left her constantly trying to put back together the pieces of her life following blow out after blow out with Mr. Bass.

With Dan, things are entirely different. The potential relationship here is born out of four years of observing one another with other people, and seeing it all – the good, the bad and the ugly. Dan is no Nate Archibald. He’s sweet and endearing and loving, but he’s also sarcastic and testy, and doesn’t put up with Blair’s games. He accepts that she has a manipulative side to her, but he doesn’t encourage it, or bring it to the surface. He sees the, as he puts it ‘intelligent, intuitive’ side of her, the side that ‘weeps when she watches Nights of Cabiria’ (Episode 4.18). The pretence of perfection she had with Nate is gone, but the dark, toxic, scheming relationship she had with Chuck is nowhere to be seen either. It is a real connection, based on common ground and years of spending time with the same complicated circle of people. They bicker, and argue, and tease one another, but in a far more gentle, and intelligent way than the Chair fights – Blair get the friction without any of the emotionally damaging drama. And it helps, of course, that he looks at her like he would genuinely jump in front of a bus for her! Unlike in his relationship with Serena though, Dan’s urge to protect Blair, and to ‘save’ her is born out a real love and friendship, complete with a thorough acceptance that they are polar opposites in many ways. With Serena, it always felt like the pair were looking for signs from fate that they should end up together, because that’s what they both thought they wanted – with Dan and Blair, however, he loves her without expecting it to ever go anywhere. Rather than fall in love with a stranger, and then spend years trying to balance the fantasy Serena he had created in his head with the real life version, he falls in love with the real Blair. The fact that he himself is so surprised when he realises it’s happening highlights the fact that these feelings, however unexpected, are completely genuine.

Yes, I am a little bit of a ‘Dair’ fan – can you tell?!

What this entire situation made me realise, however, is that this is a kind of romantic triangle we see time and time again in film and television, and another recent example of such occurs in Lost, with the infamous Sawyer, Kate, Jack relationship. Let me say straight off the bat that, in this case, I can’t help but be pro the complicated romance, and have always been team Sawyer over team Jack. This, however, is probably more to do with the individual characters, than the place they take in the triangle!

Kate meets Jack and, from their very first scene together in the pilot episode, we see a connection begin to form. Jack is determined and takes charge of the situation, and Kate instantly respects him. They start to rely on and confide in one other, but this partnership is cut short when Jack discovers that not only was Kate the prisoner on board flight 815, but she lied to him about it. His instant disapproval of her leaves her shattered, and his reluctance to listen when she tries to explain what she did creates a barrier between them. Kate feels like Jack can’t accept the complicated side of her – all he wants to see is the good side.

Enter Sawyer. A conman with a past just as complicated as Kate’s, who she (along with virtually everyone else) instantly dislikes. As time progresses, however, Kate and Sawyer begin to spend more and more time together, and in a late night drinking game, find out more about each other in a single evening than Jack has found out about her the entire time they have been on the island. They talk about falling in love (Sawyer says he never has), marriage, and eventually, they admit to each other that they have both killed someone prior to their crash on the island. That is enough for Kate to feel like finally someone understands her. He doesn’t ask any questions, and doesn’t pressure her to be anything other than herself. He recognises her tendency to run away when things get tough, to keep moving constantly, and never to settle in one place, with one group of people, because it is exactly how he behaves. Like Chuck and Blair, Kate and Sawyer find in each other someone to completely understand and accept their most negative traits – sides of them that even they themselves can’t stand, but can’t pretend don’t exist either. This connection is one that creates a sense of stability on the island for them. Meanwhile, Jack is slowly beginning to come to terms with just how complicated Kate is, and fall in love with the real her, despite watching her fall for Sawyer.

When I first discovered that in the end, Kate ends up with Jack and Sawyer with Juliet, I was most unimpressed! The chemistry between Kate and Sawyer is electric, and the bond they have is understood by only them. However, the more times I have watched the show, and seen how desperately Kate wants to be the girl Jack wants to be with, and have seen how happy Juliet makes Sawyer, it made me realise that these sort of epic loves are there for a reason. Had Sawyer and Kate not found each other, had someone accept them completely (the good and the bad) fallen in love and learnt to rely on and take care of each other, they never could have been ready for a stable relationship with someone who brings out the good in them. Had Kate not learnt to stop running by standing by Sawyer in season 3 when they are kidnapped by the others, she never could have properly settled with Jack, with whom she shares a much more ‘productive’ relationship – they both work hard to protect the other survivors, and find a way off the island. And had Sawyer not let down his guard, fallen for a woman who he wasn’t trying to con out of money and loved someone enough to put them before himself, he never would have found the happiness he finds with Juliet. They learn from each other, and their feelings for each other will never really go away – a part of them will always love each other. They helped each other learn to trust, and believe that someone could accept them, dark, complicated traits and all. But much like Chuck and Blair, this relationship is not entirely healthy. Because they understand these negative traits and allow each other to expose that side of them so easily, it isn’t hard to see how quickly they can fall back into old patterns, and find themselves almost encouraging each other to let these aspects of their personalities loose. Sadly, no matter how much they love each other, the relationship itself can’t last – but the way it has changed them, and their perspectives on trust and love, always will.

Chuck and Blair are exactly the same. Their great love, the intensity and impulsiveness that they feel around one another is something to behold - but in the end it will only ever hurt them. However, without it, the relationship Blair could (and hopefully will!) have with Dan would probably not have been possible. By being able to be herself in one way with Nate and the completely opposite side of herself with Chuck isn’t enough; with Dan, she is able to admit to both. Had she and Chuck not schemed and manipulated and played games, she would never have learnt how badly these types of romances end. She fell madly in love with Chuck, but in the most destructive of ways, and having experienced this allows her to realise that while it is possible for someone to love her in spite of her inner demons, she doesn’t have to play games to be happy. Without her epic love with Chuck, a real, honest relationship would have been difficult for Blair to ever really find.

So there we go, a huge psychoanalysis of love triangles, and the ways in which they often seem to turn out! As I said at the beginning, I’m ridiculous when it comes to these things; a good love story gets me every time. So fingers crossed Dan and Blair will get together in season 5 (it’s not looking good at the moment, sadly, but a girl can dream :P) – let’s face it, I’ve listed more than enough reason why they should!

x



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